6 Things You Can Do to Pass the Time While Giving a Blow Job

There’s something undeniably intoxicating about giving your guy the kind of pleasure that will have him moaning to the rafters. Still, blow jobs always seem to take infinitely longer than initially anticipated; and unlike regular jobs, blow jobs don’t come with Internet access or free coffee to help you while away the minutes. That doesn’t mean, however, that there aren’t ways to keep your mind occupied while you keep him mesmerized with bliss. Here are seven ways to do just that.

1. Use Your Tongue to Play Word Games
Start by spelling out the first word that comes to your mouth (hopefully it’s not G-A-G), and then see how quickly you can come up with a word that begins with the letter you ended on. By the time he’s D-O-N-E, you will have strengthened your vocabulary and your endurance!

2. Play the Air Harmonica
Embrace your inner folk singer by imagining that you’re throwing down a soulful air harmonica tune. Picture each note as you’re playing it, and for bonus points, see if you can also remember all the lyrics to the song you’re playing. We’d say you should take this act on the road, but that might be kind of awkward for your friends and family.

3. Practice Your Yoga Breathing
If focusing on your breath can keep your mind occupied while you move through sun salutations, it can certainly get you through a few minutes of having a mouthful. Namaste.

4. Challenge Yourself to a One-Person Game of “Would You Rather?”
Playing a game of chicken with your tonsils feels like a stroll through the park when you’re contemplating whether you’d rather only eat fish guts for the rest of your life or have body hair that grew out as dread locks that you could never shave.

5. Guess Which of His Testicles Is Bigger
A blow job is often an “all hands on deck” situation. Use your hands to see if you can spot the (hopefully) minor differences between his seemingly identical twins. It’s like a carnival game where he wins an orgasm and you both win some well-earned sleep!

6. See How Long You Can Go Without Getting a Pubic Hair In Your Mouth
When you begin, start counting, and don’t stop until you feel the familiar sensation of the world’s grossest floss on your teeth. If this happens, start over and continue until he’s made it to the finish line. The lower the number you count to before things get hairy, the more enthusiastic you’ll be when you remind him that it’s time for him to return the favor to you.

Oral Sex Tips GUARANTEED To Rock Her Ever-Loving World

Women love when you go down on them, so why aren't you?

Almost 90 percent of people considered a lack of oral sex as a BIG problem, so I’m bringing it up before your partner does. Guys: Whatever your reason for not going down, it’s time to give it another try! Here are 7 tips to help you quickly become an oral expert:

Tip #1: Spread the love. She loves it when you focus your attention on the clit. However, if you focus all your attention on one spot, it gets super sensitive bordering on painful. Mix it up! Use your entire tongue. Make it flat. Make it pointy. Make it soft. Make it rigid. The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings, and you can stimulate them all!

Tip #2: Start off slow. This is not fast food. This is a gourmet restaurant and she wants you to savor every moment. Kiss and nibble her inner thighs, use your lips or your breath on her labia. She feels every little nuance, and it all feels very, VERY good.

Tip #3:  Skip the porn tricks. Guys, she is a regular, everyday woman. She is NOT a porn star. Plus, she can tell when you’re using Howard Stern’s alphabet technique (I KNOW you can be more creative than that!). Rather than trying something you saw on the boob tube, keep it simple. Try swirling your tongue around her clitoris in small circles, clockwise and then counter-clockwise. You’ll find the right spot, guaranteed.

Tip #4:  Forget the game plan. If you come to the bedroom with a super specific end goal, say giving her a squirting orgasm, it can be a turn-off. Why? Because the moment it becomes goal-oriented rather than pleasure-oriented, she loses interest. Plus, she’ll feel like something is wrong with her if you try really hard and she just can’t get there. If you want her to be comfortable with squirting, try not to focus on it too much. She wants to get lost in the moment, not feel like you are trying to turn her into your favorite webcam girl.

Tip #5: Remember the golden rule. Think of all of the things you love when she goes down on you. Do you love gentle sucking? Nibbling? Light teeth? Deep suction? Great – maybe she does too!  GENTLY try those techniques on her clitoris. After all, it is essentially a small penis with double the nerve endings.

Tip #6: DON’T forget the fingers! Once she is good and warmed up, get in there with your fingers!  Many women enjoy one or two fingers inside their vagina while you kiss and suck on her clitoris. You may find her thrashing around in your bed from a blended orgasm when try this technique. Just be sure your fingers are very clean and that you have filed down any rough nail edges (see Tip #2 — she feels EVERYTHING down there).

Tip #7: Get INTO it! If she senses you're feeling the least bit obligated or bored, she will shut down. Please be aware of how vulnerable she may feel lying there with her legs spread and try to be very complimentary and enthusiastic. I promise it will pay off — that little extra effort can turn a self-conscious woman into the lusty, naughty woman you’ve always wanted.

Anal Sex: What You Need To Know

Why do men like it?
One in three men regularly have anal sex. If the woman is willing, her partner can live out his domination fantasy. From a physical point of view, anal sex is extremely satisfying for a man. The anal sphincter (sexy word right?) is a lot tighter than the vagina so the penis is squeezed and the pleasure is more intense for him.

What do women think about it?
Only a minority of women agree to have - and enjoy - anal sex. 11% admit to having tried it and only 35% of those said they enjoyed it. Some women refuse to do it because they’re frightened of the pain they’ll experience or because they think it's degrading. With a caring partner, such reluctance can disappear.

Precautions to take
The anus is a sensitive area and can also be a source of pleasure for women. In order to enjoy anal stimulation, you need to use alubricant because, unlike the vagina, the anus doesn’t have its own natural lubricant. Use KY Jelly, Senselle, Eros or Wet.

The main thing to remember here? Start off slowly. Ask your partner to begin by caressing your anus so that you’re relaxed and aroused. Inserting a finger prior to penetration can also help relax the anal sphincter, making thrusts easier.

Positions
Anal sex can be performed in several positions so you can experience a variety of sensations! Doggy style wins the majority of votes. In this position, he can also stimulate your clitoris for more pleasure…a combination of anal and clitoral stimulation may be a pleasant surprise! For more comfort, try lying on your stomach. And if you want to start slowly, try the spoons position (lying on your side). If you prefer to look at your partner during penetration, try sitting on him.

Risks and infections
It can't be stressed enough that penetration should not be rough, or it can lead to cuts or bleeding. Tell your partner if you feel any discomfort. 
There is a risk of sexually transmitted diseases from anal sex too. This is where things start to get a bit cringey. Basically the anal wall is very fragile and porous, so it’s essential that your partner wears a condom. Also, avoid going straight from anal penetration to vaginal penetration, because the bacteria in the rectum can cause vaginal infections and trust us - they're NOT fun. Ask your partner to wash thoroughly or change your condom before proceeding to vaginal sex. 

Be safe and have fun!

19 Of The Most Outrageous Sex Positions

This is an amusing look at some of the craziest sexual positions in the Kama Sutra. Don’t try this at home. No wait…. Do try this at home and let us know how you pulled it off.

The Y – Curve

Difficulty rating 8/10 – Pure core….

The Gallery

Difficulty 7/10 – The Gallery

The G Force

Difficulty 6/10 – Depending on size of the woman

The Stairway To Heaven

Difficulty 6/10 – Due to soreness of knees

The Triumph Arch

Difficulty 10/10 – If there is a woman out there that can bend like that let us know.

The Ape

Difficulty 8/10 – This looks dangerous, for penis breaking reasons alone.

The Backwards Slide

Difficulty 9/10 – The sheer level of stamina required on the woman’s part is awe inspiring.

The Deckchair

Difficulty 5/10 – She looks like she is sleeping… Please make sure she isn’t.

The Dolphin

Difficulty 6/10 – Neck exercises would be a good thing for women to start doing.

The Plow

Difficulty 10/10 – It’s so ridiculous it looks made up, but she looks quite relaxed doesn’t she?

The Suspended Scissors

Difficulty 11/10 – These all seem to be a lot easier for men don’t they?

The London Bridge

10/10 – This just physically isn’t possible, this time the girl gets the armchair ride.

The Clasp

Difficulty – Depends on the size of the woman really doesn’t it?

The Sphinx

Difficulty – See how long you and your partner can last doing this and then rate it.

The Kriss Kross

Difficulty 6/10 – Just screams married couple to me, oh wait, they wouldn’t be having sex would they?

The Indian Headstand

Difficulty 8/10 – Looks like a wheelbarrow doesn’t it.

The Peg

Difficulty – Not that hard but I dunno it looks a bit shit to be honest.

The Waterfall

Difficulty 7/10 – Chronic arthritis soon follows

The Propeller

Difficulty 1000/10 – If you can insert a P into a V from that angle I’ll personally give you a medal

yoga class 4 ur darlings

oga class 4 u darlin.....call me full training

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What Women Love & Hate About Anal

Anal sex is just one of those things: she either loves it, or she hates it. There is very little in between. Most women have tried it at some point, and a fair few of them will never dare again despite their hankering to be one of the "lucky ones" who love anal sex. The reason for this avoidance is clear: pain. If there was no pain, there was probably pleasure. Hence, love or hate.

It is true, however, that while you're trying to "get it right" there are likely to be some painful moments, practice makes perfect and it’s the ability to maneuver oneself and try different styles that allows anal sex to be pleasurable.

We've decided to let you in on what women love and hate about anal sex so you can enter the situation sufficiently informed and ready to rock her world.

THE ALLURE OF ANAL SEX

For men and women, anal sex is a different, tighter sensation, it’s a little bit naughty and it provides some variety to normal sex. Anal sex has a tang of taboo attached to it, though this is falling away: The taboo status of anal sex gives it better credence among the adventuresome and timid alike, and this adds to its attraction. Once tried, however, anal sex can quickly lose its appeal for women (and some men). Here we will discuss some of the reasons why women love and hate anal sex.

WHY DOES SHE LOVE ANAL SEX?

Let’s start with the positives:

Because anal sex feels good

Women love anal sex because it can feel absolutely incredible. It's different in sensation and it doesn’t feel like anything else she may have felt before -- it's deep inside, it's not her clitoris and is not in her vagina, but feels strangely like both in a sort of mixed-up combination in another part of her body. The rectum, once it’s ready, literally swallows the penis up and can’t get enough. The back passage transforms itself into a sexual playground. If the clitoris and/or vagina are stimulated while you are inside of her, it can take her to another sexual realm. Anal orgasms are possible.

Because anal sex is naughty

People love to be a little bit naughty sometimes, and anal sex is one of those things you can do completely privately, and nobody will ever know you were naughty except you and your partner -- which is part of the fun. It is also often a "first time for everything" type of activity which can also be nice -- doing something you've never done before, ever.

WHY DOES SHE HATE ANAL SEX?

Now for what goes wrong:

Because anal sex hurts

Anal sex is not easy to master when you haven’t done it before. For a man it may seem straight forward -- in, out -- but it isn’t this simple. Women hate anal sex primarily because it hurts. It can cause cold sweats, shivers, extreme agony, and a massive chemical release into the blood stream that causes pain. This is highly unpleasant, but may be endured because A) She wants to like it; and B) She wants you to like it.

If you're not very careful, if you don’t warm her up properly, if you don’t go slowly enough, you will probably hurt her. This really minimizes your chances for trying anal sex again. Do your best every time and you have at least a fighting chance at having another go.

Because she's worried about a mess

Anal sex is obviously a hot spot for mess. The idea that you could penetrate her butt and come out in a sticky situation is hugely embarrassing for her before it’s even happened, and for this reason she may avoid anal sex altogether. Women spend so much time making themselves look and smell beautiful that to have something ruin her hard work can be mildly devastating. Worrying about mess can be alleviated by using an anal douche before engaging in any anal play. Try taking a shower together too, and make sure her bowels are emptied at least an hour before starting.

MPORTANT FACTS ABOUT ANAL SEX

Lubricant is essential

The anal canal does not produce its own lubricant, so it is imperative that you use a good quality lubricant in all your anal adventures. It is advisable to use a silicon-based lubricant because they tend to last longer and don’t dry up very quickly like some water-based lubricants do. Don’t use sticky petroleum-based products like Vaseline, as they clog up the walls of the rectum and are much too sticky.

Tease her

It is very important that she is very turned on before you even go near her butt. When she's turned on, her body is much more open to you than if you she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Then, when you start to touch her closer to her anus, she will respond with moans and groans instead of a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with oils, relax her, love her, adore her, and caress her. Get her to the point where she is begging you for it, and do this without putting a single thing in her -- tease, tease, tease. Anticipation is one of the greatest sexual tools we have -- use it to your advantage.

Condoms and hygiene

Disease can be passed through unprotected sex -- this includes anal sex. The wall of the rectum is very thin and permeable. However, using condoms can be better for both partners, for other reasons. Women may not like to have a bottom full of semen, which quite frankly is a fair call. After the disruptions of anal sex, the semen mixes with the contents of the rectum and it can get a little "upset" in there. Using a condom avoids this trouble.

Condoms may also protect the penis from any stray fecal matter, though this is generally not a problem, and if it does occur can be washed off easily with no harm done. Men may like to wear a condom so they last a bit longer -- the condom desensitizes the penis somewhat, and allows for longer lovemaking.

WHAT NOT TO DO

Do not ever put your penis into a woman’s body without her express permission. Do not treat her body like a scoring device. She is not an object for you toejaculate in or on, and if she is kind enough to share her beautiful butt with you, treat it with respect and be happy you were allowed close enough to breathe her in at all. Don’t ejaculate inside of her if requested not to. Don’t slam, jackhammer or be forceful either.

WHAT TO ALWAYS DO

Always use lube. Always wear a condom if requested to without acting like a baby. Do as you are asked at all times -- anal sex is a delicate situation and she needs to be able to trust you.

Gender presumptions and anal sex

When a heterosexual couple thinks of anal sex, it is generally man-in-woman anal sex. To get a good understanding of what it's like -- and how to improve your performance -- it is necessary and helpful for you to open your mind to the possibility that anal sex is not something that only you do to your female lover, but something that you could do to each other.

Scared yet? Don’t be. If it’s good for the goose, it’s good for the gander. Anal sex takes a lot of practice to perfect, and experimenting with one another is a fantastic way to deepen your connection and enhance your sex life and relationship. It does not have to involve sex toys. You can use fingers, tongues, oils, lubes, and any number of other things. Experiment, and let your own body be loved. It will pay off.

BACKDOOR SHENANIGANS

Anal sex is many things to many people. Do it right, and you’ll get to do it again. Do it wrong, and you may be doomed forever. Well, probably not forever but until she forgets how bad it was the first time around.

There are hundreds of anal sex guides online -- explicit instructions on how to do it right. If you read at least a dozen of them, you’ll probably have a good idea about how to start off. The best piece of advice we can give you is to make sure she is hot for it before you start. Then you really can’t lose.

Ways to Make Anal Sex More Pleasurable (and More Fun!)

Although still considered taboo in certain parts of the world, anal sex is quickly becoming a more accepted part of people's sex lives. That said, there are certain things you can do to ensure that your backdoor fun is the best it can be, regardless of whether you're giving it to her or she's venturing into your region. Now then, here are six anal sex tips to make anal sex pleasurable and a memorable experience for the right reasons every time you engage in the deed.

• Don't insist on penetration
  
  Although it's hard to believe, you don't need to stick your fingers or penis inside the rectum for the pleasurable sensations associated with anal sex. And although it might be a bitter pill for some guys to swallow, but when you're receiving anal sex, you don't need to have anything put inside you either. By simply rubbing the anus or even licking it, known as rimming, the receiving person can derive awesome sensations.



• Make it feel good all the time
  
  Although many women have told us that their first anal sex experience (and sometimes their second and third) hurt a lot, but ladies, it doesn't have to. We're serious. Now, if she isn't calm and relaxed, it's going to hurt. If you insist on shoving your penis inside her (like ripping off a bandage -- one shot), it's going to hurt. If you don't use lubrication, it's going to hurt. You need to talk about it and both of you need to agree to do it happily; no one should be coerced into it. You also need to be patient and let her lead the way. If you are going to engage in anal sex, let her hold your penis and guide it in slowly. Go in about an inch, then pull out completely, then go in about an inch farther and pull out completely. Keep going in and out at one-inch intervals and pretty soon you'll be in.

1. Stimulate the anal region while doing other things
   
   The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl or even yourself, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it'll feel so much better. For example, while you're engaging in vaginal sex, you can insert a sex toy into your girl's anus to give her the sensation of DP, or double penetration. And she can insert a toy into yours while you're penetrating her or she's performing oral sex on you. It's up to you to decide what you're comfortable with.



2. Change your diet
   
   If you or she don't eat fiber, raw vegetables and fruit, opting for a lot of processed foods instead, then you won't be contributing to a desirable anal sex experience. Regular bowel movements are conducive to both comfort and confidence when it comes to anal sex. Adult film stars about to engage in anal sex always undergo enemas beforehand to ensure no "slip-ups." So make sure that your diet is a healthy one and, although fiber is recommended, try to avoid eating it a few hours before you're set to engage in anal sex.

Obey the rules of hygiene

There's a reason why women have to wipe from front to back when they do No. 2; trace amounts of feces may cause infection. The same rules apply to anal sex. If you put your penis or fingers in or around her anus, you cannot simply revert to her vagina afterward. There are ways to resolve this issue, however. You can always discard the "anal sex" condom and put on a new one for vaginal entry. As for your fingers, you can always keep baby wipes close by and wipe your hands before you use them on her vagina. Remember; you can go from the vagina to the anus, but not the other way around. Hopefully youknow your female anatomy.

Back door, man

Ensure anal sex is fun by making certain that you and your girl are comfortable. If she gets squeamish when you suggest it, find out why. Don't be afraid to communicate about sex and what you like; it'll bring you closer together and enhance your sex life. Keep in mind that anal sex can be very dangerous and spread STDs, so unless you're in a monogamousrelationship and you've both been tested for diseases, we strongly urge you to use condoms and latex barriers in anal sex and any other variety of sex.

...Perfect Your Hand Job

The humble hand job comes into its own ‑- literally ‑- during sex in public places. Apart from kissing, using your hands is the lowest-risk sexual activity ‑- and since it's how lots of us masturbate, the genitals respond nicely to the right type of touch. "Right" usually means she should do it harder and he should go softer (it's what each sex is most used to). Not much time? Go for a superfast orgasm for her by positioning her (sitting or standing) in front of you. Rest one palm on the top of her pubic bone and press down firmly, pushing forward, pulling back or moving in circles. Next, insert (well-lubricated) fingers: one inside her vagina, the other in her anus. It's a three-way she won't mind you suggesting ‑- or repeating. Blow him away (in all senses) by trying this technique: Twist your hands in opposite directions as you move up and down (one clockwise, one counterclockwise) or make two fists around his penis, hold them centrally, then move one downward and the other upward. Use one-word questions to ask for feedback (harder? faster?) so he only has to answer yes or no. Keep the rhythm constant, building up to a fast speed, then slow it down dramatically before moving back up again. Repeat several times, letting him hover on the brink, before tipping him over with a decided flourish

7 Outrageous Sex Positions

The moment you think you know all there is to know about sex is the moment your sex life is over. The first step is admitting you need help. The second step is admitting you need to add a few positions to your repertoire. The third is reading about these sex positions from Position of the Day: Sex Every Day Every Way from Nerve.com. Practicing them goes without saying. How flexible areyou?

The Rickshaw

The Happy Landing

The Stick Shift

Yin Yang

The Three O'Clock Appointment

The Slinky

Rock A Thigh Baby

Why anal sex, though?

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